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empty bottles every where, if it doesn't get me drunk i just don't care.   
04:09am 18/02/2008
  it's 4am,
i'm drunk,
i live in new york city again,
i have never missed san francisco more,
i'm pretty sure my girlfriend is cheating on me.

welcome home.

- joseph
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05:14pm 07/06/2006
just finished looking at a butt load of pictures from champions last show.
after stalking one of allison's friends who i have a bit of a "picture crush" on
i saw a million people i've met before from both coasts.
as i kept flipping through and laughing at the antics in the photos
i realized i kept expecting to see brandie's face pop up.

i actually feel like i missed out...
hmm. interesting.
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03:38pm 06/06/2006
  move over ashlee...
i think i'm in love with nelly furtado.
i'm tired, work has been uber busy.
i can't wait to visit paul in la.
that kid is alright.
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polar bears are left handed..   
12:37am 30/05/2006
mood: tired
i think i may bring this back for a bit.

tonight the girl i'm pseudo dating, decided i was lame. she also told me perhaps we should no longer see each other.
as you may know, i've recently got a second job. leaving my social life in shambles. apparently she's not too stoaked on taking the back seat. .she demanded i come to the hemlock tavern or else never speak to her again. i choose sleep, and told her we'd speak soon.
oh well.. she wasn't that rad anyway.
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Brandie Bailey..   
06:39pm 09/05/2005
  You always we're an angel.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

You were the single greatest thing on this planet. R.I.P
always in my thoughts forever will be in my heart.
i know you can hear my tears and prayers
and i know you can hear us all when we say. We love you.
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lil joey chirps are funny.   
11:40am 06/04/2005
mood: chipper
so my trip home is over. god, i can't possibly write how much fun i have had in the past few days. so many random moments so much fun. thank you all for making me feel right at home...at home.
this was a real special trip for me. i came feeling kinda bummed and unsure about the trip but i'm leaving with an ear to ear smile and a longing to stay more then i ever have.
its so awesome to meet so many new friends and to form better relationships with the friends that i already have. special thanks to paul and topher obviously for putting up with my stupid snoring ass.
also thanks to everyone who shared a smile with me, a beer, and or a hug. i truly love you all. - joey
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want to feel my heart break (if it must break) in your jaws.   
11:09pm 10/02/2005
mood: cold
besides..i think this time is different i mean. i really think you like me...

I haven't felt this way in ages. for about a month there i fucking shook it. I had it beat i swear to god it was beat,i was cured. but it's back. i broke down at work a few days ago. had to take a trip to the bathroom and just stare at myself in the mirror. i could hear drinks being called and small talk fuck legendary service i stood there and just broke down. why the fuck do i let you get to me like this. why..why..why.
i can't shake you. no matter how many girls i sleep with i can't..i see that smile and i'm yours and for those brief secret seconds in time when we're together youre mine.but no we don't belong together. i'm not stable. i'm a mess.you know it and i know it. everyone who fucking encounters me figures it out sooner or later. i'm a fucking loon. fuck.

being in love means you are completeley broken..broken..broken..broken..
i'm broken..youre broken...
maybe one day when youre ready
we can be broken together?

until then, here is to secret drinks and kisses in dark bars behind the public eye.
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06:09pm 26/12/2004
  i just want to crawl into bed and never wake up ahh. could today be any weirder?. some one call me and make me smile?  
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07:42pm 15/12/2004
mood: crushed
this needs to begin to get better. like right now.
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oh jarvis, how do you always know?   
09:00pm 09/12/2004
mood: lonely
You say you've got to go home
cos he's sitting on his own again this evening.
I know you're gonna let him bore your pants off again.
Oh God, it's half past eight,
you'll be late.
You say you've never been sure,
though it makes good sense for you to be together.
Still you bought a toy that can reach the places he never goes.
Oh, now it's getting late.
He's so straight.

Do you remember the first time?
I can't remember a worse time.
But you know that we've changed so much since then,
oh yeah,
we've grown.
Now I don't care what you're doing,
no I don't care if you screw him.
Just as long as you save a piece for me,
oh yeah

why do i serve myself like this? How can one possibly be in love with her still? god joey,grow some fucking balls and stop answering her fucking calls.
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christmas time is here.   
08:09pm 07/12/2004
mood: moody
today my roommate sam walked in on me about to have sex.
she left the house shortly after that.
i did not engage in intercourse.
i am not happy with sam.
but i am watching
"A Charlie Brown Christmas" con mi amigo Jose Mazel.
so i guess things are getting better.
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09:54pm 08/10/2004
  so far things have been amazing. xo great day hope it continues.  
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11:39am 02/10/2004
mood: intimidated
Well,it's my most and least favorite time of the year. It's October. The days are getting shorter,the nights colder and my birthday approaches. October,how i both love and loathe you.

I stumbled in at three a.m.,but you didn't want to. I tried again at half past ten- you still didn't want to.
Your hips have this way of saying no way;an impenetable barricade.Something I said?
Something I did?,What's made you so defensive? Something you heard? Something you learned?
The seasons changing,and it's for the worse.
You used to call me on your break,but you've been so busy,You used to bring me tomato soup,but you keep
forgetting.As the grounds keeper rakes up the October leaves,it's occurs to me tree's can't hide anything...

Next week i'll be in NY,phone dates become real dates.Paulie P turn's 21.Late night biscuits. Maybe things won't be so bad after all.
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i'm not a saint,i'm not a soldier,i'm just a picture frame that could not hold her.   
10:14pm 21/09/2004
mood: alone
we're getting older. but we're acting younger. we should be smarter. it seems we're getting dumber.

I've been such a disgusting drama queen as of late. i'd hate to deal with me . so i'm sorry for everyone who's been having to do so. does anyone want to come over with a copy of mean girls and bro down?
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04:22am 22/08/2004
mood: awake
got home from a party a hour or so ago..it was pretty hurt.the cops broke it up while i was peeing on the roof. went downstairs and the people who lived in the house we're pretty vexed. now i'm watching a stills concert on demand from san diego brah. i wish anyone was awake to talk to right now.especially that one girl from long island ::sigh:;
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12:05pm 27/07/2004
mood: sleepy
.last night i went out for the first time in awhile. we started at punk rock night at the hemlock tavern which was pretty crowded with people that all looked the same.geoff met up with a friend of his libby, who was going to this bar called the eagle tavern. i had never been there before and wanted to support geoff wing man stylee so we went. brooks,joe,geoff and i arrived at the bar which was in SOMA as i walked in i realized it was a gay biker bar.bears all over the place.bears to the left of us and to the right! .libby and her friends were the only girls there my friends and i (edit thanks marina) were the only straight people there. sam met up with us and i bought him a shot of makers mark.i then informed the only girls there that i was not gay and i was just supporting my friend.my theory of joe looking like the gayest member of the house was finally proven when a bear approached him and asked if he wanted to engage in sexual acts with him.the bar was wierd they had smelly arm pit contest which involved all these bike bears taking off there clothing and smelling each others armpits. then the cops showed up. - joey
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i'll surprise you some time i'll come around...   
03:44am 22/07/2004
  i can honestley say i love everyone i am friends with right now. I just wish one of them was still awake. thats the curse of California though. 3:45am on a wed means everyone is asleep like i should be. I feel really,content right now. just wish i had some one to share it with. ::sigh:: - joey  
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08:07pm 22/06/2004
mood: melancholy
I honestley like sitting in my room and watching the Noggin network more then anything else in my life right now. That channel is seriously like better than sex. *Sigh* Degrassi<3

P.S. I'm still alive.
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if i seem a little strange,well thats because i am.   
09:27pm 18/05/2004
  lots of thoughts going on through my mind tonight.
didn't want to forget to post this though

yea,mother fuckers. rememeber to give ian a momment of silence.
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Back in San Francisco.   
07:19pm 26/04/2004
  Updates :
I got back into town last night a bit earlier then planned. Mike and I flew standby to get on earlier flights back home.Chicago was fun, I guess.I've been so anti-social as of late so such a social trip was really hard.
I spoke with with her on Saturday.I don't know why I act the way I do. I guess it's my over active imagination. I kept pecking at her till she exploded at me? Was that what i wanted? I don't even know.After we got off the phone though I felt better. It was good to get the closure. I got dumped for school and a job. It's cool I can live with that.
Some kid came back into town visiting the school for graduation. He asked me if I had come out of the closet yet. Ha, I thought it was pretty funny. I start my new job next week. I'm kind of scared. This place has been my second home since I moved here.It's going to be sad to let it go.
I joined a gym today. I figure now that i've been dumped, I might aswell do something with my time. It's time to get into good shape again.I really going to dedicate myself to this. In 6 weeks. I'll post my results.
I really miss Paul. He's going to visit soon. I can't believe how much I love that kid. Who would have thought we would have ever gotten this close.I honestly think he's the only person who will ever love me as much as I need to be loved.(we all know me, and know how needy i am)
Why do I keep coming up? I feel the same way about you. It is creepy. It is weird. But thats life.You're a good girl, I wish you the best of luck with everything.
My mind is racing with so many thoughts.As usual. A old co-worker left me some awesome advice a few weeks ago. He told me to stop acting so fucking old. and enjoy being 22.
i really should get on that.

Why do these lines make me cry so hard every night?

"I time every journey to bump into you, accidentally
I charm you and tell you of the boys I hate
All the girls I hate
All the words I hate
The clothes I hate
How I'll never be anything I hate
You smile, mention something that you like
How you'd have a happy life if you did the things you like "

Oh thats right,they are exactly how i feel about you. I'll give you your time. Maybe one day i'll sing them to you as you fall asleep,i'll give you a kiss on the forhead maybe even the tug. and maybe just maybe i'll feel that happiness again.
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